The Dumb Laowai

Although it is as of yet unconfirmed, I was informed by an impeccable source (a friend of a friend, who knows a guy that is related to someone who claims to know) that the adorable little girl who signed the song at the Paralympic closing ceremony was actually hand-synching. The actual signer, who earlier had been judged by one of the volunteers to be lacking the appropriate level of cuteness, was actually hidden beneath the voluminous dress of the girl we all saw and fell in love with.

I am both speechless and disillusioned. I guess I’ll have to drown my sorrows with some rather strange tasting Chivas. Cheers!
 

I’ve never paid much attention to the Paralympics so to say that I have never enjoyed them more would be misleading, but I have enjoyed them more than I ever thought possible. My normal, cheery demeanor has returned as a result.  

At first I thought that it was simply because the Paralympics had provided me with a cooling-off period before resuming normal daily life in Beijing. Let’s face it: if I had carried my Olympics induced rage at the public and private powers that be straight into a Monday confrontation with the normal, hellish traffic and its resultant smog I might have snapped. However, I soon realized that some truly inspiring performances (not all by winners) had quickly made most of my complaints seem minor, even churlish.

Once properly chastened I began to look back and reexamine what just happened. None of my negative predictions for the games came true, with the possible exception of the guy who sells scorpions and seahorses on a stick going blind from television camera lighting; I haven’t heard anything but I hope he survived. God knows his business thrived.

The level of enthusiasm for the games was astounding, as was the level of knowledge about the games as well as support for and politeness to other participants and spectators. I was teaching a class when the games began and my students named every single event - in English! They knew more than I did, and I had prepared for the class!   

Not once did I hear a Chinese person speak negatively about other countries or their athletes. Not a single ugly boast was made in my presence. People were proud of China’s accomplishments, but in an unbelievably polite manner. English soccer fans could learn a thing or two, as well as people from Philadelphia.

Now life slowly returns to normal. I can get my baozi once again and traffic is due to return to normal in a few days. Maybe I’ll even be able to buy a DVD again soon.  I’ll save the bitching about my torture at the hands of a Chinese tour group for next week; I’m in too good of a mood.

Having had a little time to leisurely reflect on the Olympic phenomenon and its ability to turn me into a foaming at the mouth China basher, I’ve started to see things in a slightly different light. Believe it or not, I’m actually beginning to develop a very positive personal spin on things.

Viewed from the position that the games should enable people to experience the real China, what I saw was ham-handed, ill-conceived policies to the contrary. This Hu Jintao Village presentation irritated me on almost every level because it showcased a China that I could not identify and not the one that I have come to love. At this point I have only one thing to say to the organizers - Thank You!

My spirits have slowly returned to their previous high level mainly because I am no longer subjected to non-stop advice on how to behave in front of foreigners and constant interference with even the smallest aspects of daily life. Once again I can leisurely enjoy my cherished morning baozi and spend the evenings sitting outside with friends, enjoying a few bottles of Yanjing and eating chuanr (kebabs.)  I can once again walk down the local streets and not be mobbed by smiling volunteers trying to “help” me. I can enjoy the China that most visitors never saw.

China loves to put forth a happy 56 faced picture of multi-cultural harmony. Fortunately for me, it was limited to putting 56 ethnic costumes on Han children for the opening ceremony. Imagine the horror if they had been presented properly. Imagine something like the Ethnic Park on the Olympic Green, with food, art and legitimate ethnic products available to one and all. Those damn tourists would just keep coming back and even tell their friends to come. We’d be overwhelmed with foreigners.

As it is, practically no one will be returning because of their Olympic experiences or their exposure to Wangfujing “Fear Factor”, tourist-only snacks. Those few who do return will find a China so different from their packaged and sanitized first trip that they will probably scramble to change their tickets for earlier departure dates.

China’s “Coming Out Party” has shown that they have truly mastered the few foreign concepts they have selectively chosen to study. In this case they have proven themselves to be the advertising equal of anyone on Madison Ave. by giving us all image and no substance. It was brilliant! Now we can slowly return to normal, with minimal impact from our close shave with disaster.