The Unofficial Guide To The Olympics
Surviving Beijing with your wallet intact can be a hell of a challenge at times. Modern stores and restaurants generally have printed pricing that is non-negotiable, so don’t bother trying. However, many people believe in a floating price structure, especially for foreigners. You will usually be considered to be both rich and naïve, a perfect subject for plucking. It’s not too hard to keep this to a minimum, though.
Taxis
Starting at the airport, you need to religiously avoid anyone who offers you a ride without using a meter. You’ll be offered a ride into town for a “discounted” rate of 5-600 yuan, even though the metered rate should run around 100. Just stick to the taxi line and avoid all touts (a tout is a person offering you a service, but you need to follow them elsewhere.)
In town you will frequently be approached by individuals offering you a ride in their personal car. They are referred to as “black” taxis/cars. I use them frequently, but only when I know what the metered rate should be. Since you don’t have a clue, there is no way for you to know how much you are being fleeced for. You don’t even know if the guy is otherwise honest or if he even has insurance. Just stay away!
Touts
Touts don’t just offer taxi service. They’re the front men (women) for every kind of scam known to man. If someone walks up to you on the street and offers you anything, just keep going. It might be CD/DVDs, lady-bars, or even tea. Just keep going.
The most skilled touts work in the Wangfujing area. This is a wide, auto-free street approximately two miles east of the Forbidden City, dedicated to shopping, ranging from luxury goods to cheesy, tourist knick-knacks. You will be walking along when, suddenly, you are approached by one or two young people speaking English, usually very well. Your best bet is to simply keep walking, not even acknowledging their presence. I know it sounds rude, but how often do you really worry about the feelings of a thief? Basically, that is exactly what they are, just a little more polished.
Should you foolishly stop and begin to speak with them, they will invariably claim to be students either looking to practice their English, in which case you will be invited for a meal or a cup of tea, or promoting an exhibition of paintings, either theirs’ or their master’s. In the first case, after receiving a pot of tea, you will be presented with a bill ranging from US$100-200. It goes downhill from there. In the second case, you will get the high-pressure pitch to buy artwork at ridiculously inflated prices, sometimes with a bit of physical intimidation.
I go to Wangfujing about once a month, usually to hit the foreign language bookstore, so I’ve been approached dozens of times. I’ve even thought of having a t-shirt made that says “I hate tea and I don’t like art!” To the extremely persistent ones, I’ll just utter a few nonsense words in German. That usually takes care of them. So does violently coughing in their faces. But really, it’s just easier to keep walking.
Dickering
The other time to keep walking is when you’re in one of the large shopping malls. I call them malls, but they’re actually just large buildings with hundreds of small booths, usually 6-8 feet square. Keep in mind that 99% of the products are counterfeit. The prices should be dirt cheap, usually 20-30% of the original asking price and sometimes less.
The stall owners will negotiate hard, but there is a sure fire way to come out on top. Start your offer at 10% of the asking price. If they don’t accept it (and they probably won’t) just walk away. Do not budge on the price. If they let you go, great! You’ve just established what’s unacceptable. Every fourth stall will have the same products, bought from the same sources, so you simply offer the next guy 15%, maybe 20% if you really don’t like dickering. Again, don’t budge. If they let you walk, adjust your offer the next time. When someone finally agrees, you know that you got a good price. You may want to do this at stalls in different rows so that the sellers don’t witness what you do before or afterwards.
By the way, make sure to try on everything before buying. I now own three pairs of slacks that are about 3 sizes smaller than noted on the label.
Singing
I’m ashamed to admit that I have been to a karaoke club. LD insisted that we go one night. It was two hours of torture, us sitting alone in a small room and singing bad songs. However, there is another side to it. It is usually an all-male activity, at least until a lineup of hostesses are presented for your selection. After you have selected your new companions, drinking games are in order, conducted in various states of undress.
I’m told that the pricing structures can be somewhat complicated and the bill is often padded substantially. When you object, as you are certain to do, several large “customer service representatives” will arrive and explain to you the wisdom of simply paying. I would recommend avoiding these places unless you are taken by a Chinese acquaintance.
Misc. Drinking
Yes, I know that you know how to drink, but I really need to give you a couple of pointers.
If you drink mixed drinks, ask for a shot of the alcohol first. You can either drink it straight or add it to your mixer, but you need to sip it first. The amount of counterfeit alcohol here is astounding, but an old pro such as yourself should be able to tell the difference by sipping it. The counterfeit stuff can very quickly destroy your liver and, unfortunately, the toxins are not flushed from your system for several days. The concentration can build up over this time and have disastrous consequences. Just play it safe.
Not all of the counterfeits are this easy to spot!
Secondly, although you should try baijiu, I’d recommend that you avoid Er Guo Tou, which usually comes in small, green bottles. It tastes like turpentine, knocks you on your ass and makes you wish you could fast-forward through the next day.
Lastly, should you find yourself with a group of Chinese who keep shouting Gambei! (roughly, bottoms up), be careful. Once they start with that nonsense, they’re not likely to stop until they can no longer pronounce the word. I found myself at a beer festival once and everyone wanted to drink with me. I didn’t notice until much later in the evening that everyone who toasted me with Gambei! had a partial glass and mine was full. Unless you’re using the small, 4oz. glasses that are common here, just think of Gambei as cheers, not bottoms up.
Other than that, have a great time in China and enjoy the Olympics!
The Dumb Laowai
Taxis
Starting at the airport, you need to religiously avoid anyone who offers you a ride without using a meter. You’ll be offered a ride into town for a “discounted” rate of 5-600 yuan, even though the metered rate should run around 100. Just stick to the taxi line and avoid all touts (a tout is a person offering you a service, but you need to follow them elsewhere.)
In town you will frequently be approached by individuals offering you a ride in their personal car. They are referred to as “black” taxis/cars. I use them frequently, but only when I know what the metered rate should be. Since you don’t have a clue, there is no way for you to know how much you are being fleeced for. You don’t even know if the guy is otherwise honest or if he even has insurance. Just stay away!
Touts
Touts don’t just offer taxi service. They’re the front men (women) for every kind of scam known to man. If someone walks up to you on the street and offers you anything, just keep going. It might be CD/DVDs, lady-bars, or even tea. Just keep going.
The most skilled touts work in the Wangfujing area. This is a wide, auto-free street approximately two miles east of the Forbidden City, dedicated to shopping, ranging from luxury goods to cheesy, tourist knick-knacks. You will be walking along when, suddenly, you are approached by one or two young people speaking English, usually very well. Your best bet is to simply keep walking, not even acknowledging their presence. I know it sounds rude, but how often do you really worry about the feelings of a thief? Basically, that is exactly what they are, just a little more polished.
Should you foolishly stop and begin to speak with them, they will invariably claim to be students either looking to practice their English, in which case you will be invited for a meal or a cup of tea, or promoting an exhibition of paintings, either theirs’ or their master’s. In the first case, after receiving a pot of tea, you will be presented with a bill ranging from US$100-200. It goes downhill from there. In the second case, you will get the high-pressure pitch to buy artwork at ridiculously inflated prices, sometimes with a bit of physical intimidation.
I go to Wangfujing about once a month, usually to hit the foreign language bookstore, so I’ve been approached dozens of times. I’ve even thought of having a t-shirt made that says “I hate tea and I don’t like art!” To the extremely persistent ones, I’ll just utter a few nonsense words in German. That usually takes care of them. So does violently coughing in their faces. But really, it’s just easier to keep walking.
Dickering
The other time to keep walking is when you’re in one of the large shopping malls. I call them malls, but they’re actually just large buildings with hundreds of small booths, usually 6-8 feet square. Keep in mind that 99% of the products are counterfeit. The prices should be dirt cheap, usually 20-30% of the original asking price and sometimes less.
The stall owners will negotiate hard, but there is a sure fire way to come out on top. Start your offer at 10% of the asking price. If they don’t accept it (and they probably won’t) just walk away. Do not budge on the price. If they let you go, great! You’ve just established what’s unacceptable. Every fourth stall will have the same products, bought from the same sources, so you simply offer the next guy 15%, maybe 20% if you really don’t like dickering. Again, don’t budge. If they let you walk, adjust your offer the next time. When someone finally agrees, you know that you got a good price. You may want to do this at stalls in different rows so that the sellers don’t witness what you do before or afterwards.
By the way, make sure to try on everything before buying. I now own three pairs of slacks that are about 3 sizes smaller than noted on the label.
Singing
I’m ashamed to admit that I have been to a karaoke club. LD insisted that we go one night. It was two hours of torture, us sitting alone in a small room and singing bad songs. However, there is another side to it. It is usually an all-male activity, at least until a lineup of hostesses are presented for your selection. After you have selected your new companions, drinking games are in order, conducted in various states of undress.
I’m told that the pricing structures can be somewhat complicated and the bill is often padded substantially. When you object, as you are certain to do, several large “customer service representatives” will arrive and explain to you the wisdom of simply paying. I would recommend avoiding these places unless you are taken by a Chinese acquaintance.
Misc. Drinking
Yes, I know that you know how to drink, but I really need to give you a couple of pointers.
If you drink mixed drinks, ask for a shot of the alcohol first. You can either drink it straight or add it to your mixer, but you need to sip it first. The amount of counterfeit alcohol here is astounding, but an old pro such as yourself should be able to tell the difference by sipping it. The counterfeit stuff can very quickly destroy your liver and, unfortunately, the toxins are not flushed from your system for several days. The concentration can build up over this time and have disastrous consequences. Just play it safe.
Not all of the counterfeits are this easy to spot!
Secondly, although you should try baijiu, I’d recommend that you avoid Er Guo Tou, which usually comes in small, green bottles. It tastes like turpentine, knocks you on your ass and makes you wish you could fast-forward through the next day.
Lastly, should you find yourself with a group of Chinese who keep shouting Gambei! (roughly, bottoms up), be careful. Once they start with that nonsense, they’re not likely to stop until they can no longer pronounce the word. I found myself at a beer festival once and everyone wanted to drink with me. I didn’t notice until much later in the evening that everyone who toasted me with Gambei! had a partial glass and mine was full. Unless you’re using the small, 4oz. glasses that are common here, just think of Gambei as cheers, not bottoms up.
Other than that, have a great time in China and enjoy the Olympics!
The Dumb Laowai
